The Arla Baker Series Box Set

Excerpt from The Lost Sister

Arla heard sounds. The ticking of the round clock on the wall, black arms moving on a white dial. Her own soft, regular breaths, almost inaudible. Almost not there, like she didn’t want to exist in this moment in time. Like she could turn into a desert storm and disintegrate, involute into herself, disappear.

“DCI Barker, do you know what I mean?” The steady voice spoke from opposite her. It snapped her out of her reverie.

Arla looked into the grey eyes of Dr. Mark Seddon. A pair of glasses nestled on the bridge of his nose. His gaze was fixed firmly on her face, with eyes that were friendly but vigilant.

Arla cleared her throat. “Yes, I do.”

Dr. Seddon clasped his hands together on the desk. “Then tell me.”

She chose her words carefully. “I am projecting suppressed emotions. It’s the only way I can make sense of them. But I shouldn’t be doing it to harm others.”

Dr. Seddon’s head nodded, his chin almost touching his chest. She detected a look of relief when he raised his head. “Very good.”

“Thank you.”

Dr. Seddon was the last in a line of psychiatrists arranged by the London Met’s Occupational Health Department. To be fair, he was the easiest one to get along with.

His gelled-back black hair was parted neatly in the middle. He adjusted the tie on his pinstripe suit before continuing. “We still haven’t delved properly into the suppressed emotions.”

Arla’s throat constricted. “Right now, I don’t want to go there.”

“You know that sooner or later we have to.”

And I have to climb that wall. Why? What will change? She was aware the doctor was watching her. She shifted her back against the soft armchair, sitting further up.

“Guilt is a terrible thing,” Dr. Seddon said, his smoothly shaven face impassive. His cheeks tapered into a strong jaw and chin. At any other time, Arla would have found the face attractive. He still was attractive, and she wondered if that was why she was more receptive to his probing.

“In your case, it is the main suppressed emotion. You have lived with it for so long, you can’t even see it. When you hurt others, you are hurting that part of you that feels guilty.”

She winced visibly. “I am not hurting others. That man got what he deserved.”

His voice was calm, but warm and apologetic. “I didn’t mean to imply you are hurting anyone innocent. Of course, your job is to stop those who harm others, but you need to separate your professional actions from your personal guilt.”

Arla swallowed hard. Something about his words rang painfully true. She opened her mouth to reply, but the words got stuck in her throat.

Before she could respond, a loud knock echoed through the room, and Arla’s phone buzzed on the table. She looked at the screen and saw Harry’s name flash up.

“Excuse me,” she muttered, answering the call.

“Arla, we’ve got something. It’s urgent.”

“I’ll be right there,” Arla said, her voice tightening with the sudden surge of adrenaline.

As she stood up, Dr. Seddon’s voice stopped her. “We’ll need to continue this conversation. Don’t run from it.”

But Arla was already moving toward the door, her mind shifting focus, ready for the unknown chaos that awaited her on the other side.